New Studies Show That Teens Who Get Free College Tuition Graduate As Millionaires

UNIVERSITY OF DENVER – A study was released recently on the positive effects that free tuition has on college students. The study reports that 78% of students who received free college tuition were millionaires by the time they graduated.

Tracy Cox, a recent millionaire graduated stated, “With the tension of college debt off of my mind, I had time to put my focus into the things that matter. My tech startup was the biggest accomplishment of mine and has netted me around $2M in the last 3 years. Like, all I do is post cute pictures of cats onto my social media and people love it.” Tracy claims that there are many of her colleagues who also enjoy spending time posting pictures of their animals and who are also making millions of dollars.

“I don’t know, people just really love animals. I have at least 4 cute cat videos that go viral on Facebook every month.”

A spokesman from the U.S. EEOC made a press announcement stating, “It seems like the world of employment is changing. All you need is free college tuition, so you can focus all of your time and energy into posting cute cat videos onto Facebook.”

The U.S. EEOC has said that cute cat videos will earn college students from ages 18–28 an estimated $6B in 2016.

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