STRAIGHT STONED – A rare strain of the E. coli infection, known as Superbug, was discovered in a 49 year-old Pennsylvania woman. A case like this has never been reported in human history and is leaving the world in a panic. When asked why he made his home in the 49 year-old woman, Superbug responded with, “I often get very lonely and none of the other bacterial strains get me, you know? I’m different and nobody likes different. I’m starting to think she doesn’t like me either.”
The 49-year old woman responded to the Superbug’s comment, “If Superbug asked me first if he could move in, then MAYBE would I have let him. He broke my trust..” Many activists are wanting justice for Superbug. They are taking a strong stance on Bacterial Equality and urge the world to not be scared of the fragile Superbug.
The World Health Organization say that there is a 400% chance that Superbug will spread to every human on the planet, effectively wiping out 75% of the population. They urge everyone to stay calm and kindly turn down any Superbug’s request to move in.