Bernie Sanders Admits to Being High on Drugs While Giving Speech Backing Hillary Clinton

 “Wow, look at the fluffy blue puppies floating on that cloud,” Bernie Sanders was heard saying after leaving the Democratic National Convention on Monday. According to unreliable sources, Hillary Clinton was seen tampering with Bernie Sanders Fanta Orange Soda about one hour before his speech. What they saw: Hillary Clinton slipping a Molly into the […]

Trump Buys Hurricane, Sends It To Mexico

As the hurricane season in Mexico is quickly approaching, Donald Trump has done the unthinkable. Trump has reportedly purchased a hurricane in the amount of $10.5 billion from God and is planning to send it over to Mexico in the first week of June, just in time for hurricane season. When asked if he thought […]

Indiana Teen Arrested, Accused Of Attempting To Join Compton Crips

An 18-year-old from suburban Indianapolis was arrested last week and accused of trying to travel to Compton, California to join the notorious ‘Crips’ gang. Prosecutors said Benny Watson, of Brownsburg, was arrested by FBI agents as he attempted to board a bus from Indianapolis to Ohio. Watson allegedly planned to fly from Ohio to California […]