Kylie Jenner Sells Nose/Penis Warmers To Save Her Failing Cosmetic Business

Kylie Jenner’s Cosmetic Company Is a Big Fat FAILURE! At least according to the Better Business Bureau. According to the report, customer satisfaction was a total bomb and Kylie Cosmetics has received an ‘F’ rating. The company has received 137 customer complaints in the last 9 months since it began operating. So what is a girl to do? Back out of all the hard work and dedication she has committed to her new company? Of course not!warmers

Kylie Cosmetics has incorporated a new accessory to their sales line. ‘Kylie Kovers’ is now selling nose and penis warmers for the upcoming winter season and it is projected to be a big hit! “I got the idea when I was spending the winter in Maine last year and hooked up with this dude that had a cold penis,” said Kylie. “Then the next night I hooked up with this other guy that said HE had a cold penis also. Wow, like I guess that’s like a problem in the Northeast. I figured I could do something to like help the people out there suffering from the effects of the freezing cold.”

Kylie said she came up with the nose warmer idea when this other guy with a warm penis was complaining about her cold nose. “If you paid attention to situations that happened to you in your life, you can come up with great ideas,” said Kylie. “It makes me feel good that I can like help people.”